I wish I had the power to erase others' pain. I could never stand by and watch someone experiencing great sorrow without wanting to jump in and help..somehow or in some way. Maybe that's why I tend to be so protective of folks I care about-people I know well, and even those that I don't technically know so well but can still feel some kind of bond or kinship connecting us. Whatever that bond is, fleeting though it can be, it's compelling enough to make me care and want to defend them.

I'm sorry this is so random, it's a departure from what I usually write on here. I hope I don't sound like some odd/female/modern version of Don Quixote, jumping in and trying to fix everyone's problems. I know I'm not alone in this feeling of being protective, and that's a comfort at least. It's just that I wish I could do more sometimes. Don't you?

In any case, back to your regularly scheduled programming. I've been living in Philly for the past month now, back in my wonderful happy place where so many dreams and loves and joys thrived. It's like I've put on an old, comfortable pair of running shoes; you know they'll support you through any terrain. If I may extend, coming back here makes the two years in Baltimore feel like wearing orange snakeskin platform pumps*. OK, it wasn't that outlandish, but it certainly was an adjustment in many ways. The point is that being back home made the differences stand out in bold relief.

Surprisingly, living here again is also a bit of an adjustment, but in a more subtle and pervasive way. The best way I can describe this is by borrowing a saying from a good friend - like being haunted by ghosts of your past. This is how I remember places, by the people who were with me as we roamed the city and made our marks. They made their marks on me too, and everywhere I go I feel like I'm walking a fine line between then and now. Memories flashing by around every corner and in every 'old haunt.'

It's actually nice in a way..as another friend put it, the place is full of good karma and good vibes from before. (So you know, these are happy ghosts like Casper, not the creepy clanking chains variety ;-) The downside is that I miss them all and if you know me, you know that I hate to miss people. I'd rather just be with them of course, who wouldn't? (Brilliant/mad scientists out there, the teleportation device is long overdue, ahem) But then, there are new friends and new memories to make, and even though it's going to be very different, it's still going to be very good. I just have to be patient. I'm already blessed with great friends from before and prospects of new ones..it'll just take time :)

And I'd be leaving out a lot if I didn't say that I got to catch up with some very good friends here..they make it feel more like home.

Ok and to Thanksgiving this year. My family had two. One with some other folks at a potluck on Thursday, and another with just the four of us on Friday. You'd think I'd be rolling myself everywhere, but actually (thankfully) the food was quite healthy and varied..Mom and I cooked up a storm as usual while the men did their part to stay out of the way (ha).

At the potluck, there were the adults sitting around chatting as usual, and then the children..I was by far the oldest at 25, the next in line was only 18. The youngest was an adorable and very precocious 5 year old. Yeah, I felt a little old (and glad that I'm long done with the SATs and SAT IIs and college admissions, etc!) , but not so old when, still considered one of the children, I got first dibs at the spread** ;-) The best of both worlds.

The job is going well, I really love what the Center does and I stand behind our work 100%..I am so happy I get to work on causes that are really close to my heart, and am learning a lot. So all in all, life is good. And I want to give back and make it so for others. And wow I just read through what I wrote, this entire long post. This is what happens when I don't post for a long time and a lot has been happening. I am SUCH a girl, there's no getting around that, is there :)


*Though sometimes, I think I wouldn't mind a little dose of flashy, uncomfortable, over-the-top and yet totally fabulous works of art on my feet. It's all about variety! I think I need a return trip or few to Balto/DC sometime soon...:D

**Grammar check for that sentence, please, someone. I'm not sure it's completely right..


Current soundtrack (because I don't have enough bandwidth to be posting playlists or youtube videos :( - Al Green, music from Salaam Namaste, Diana Krall, Sade, Saint-Saens and Gershwin (two old flames), and Sarah Brightman (The Songs That Got Away..I don't care what critics will say about her voice, before she picked up her trademark breathiness and affectations, she made some beautiful recordings with her natural voice and it is stunning. Wish she always sang like that).

And btw I say no to Lady Gaga. Just...no. For the time being, anyway :)