I wish I had the power to erase others' pain. I could never stand by and watch someone experiencing great sorrow without wanting to jump in and help..somehow or in some way. Maybe that's why I tend to be so protective of folks I care about-people I know well, and even those that I don't technically know so well but can still feel some kind of bond or kinship connecting us. Whatever that bond is, fleeting though it can be, it's compelling enough to make me care and want to defend them.

I'm sorry this is so random, it's a departure from what I usually write on here. I hope I don't sound like some odd/female/modern version of Don Quixote, jumping in and trying to fix everyone's problems. I know I'm not alone in this feeling of being protective, and that's a comfort at least. It's just that I wish I could do more sometimes. Don't you?

In any case, back to your regularly scheduled programming. I've been living in Philly for the past month now, back in my wonderful happy place where so many dreams and loves and joys thrived. It's like I've put on an old, comfortable pair of running shoes; you know they'll support you through any terrain. If I may extend, coming back here makes the two years in Baltimore feel like wearing orange snakeskin platform pumps*. OK, it wasn't that outlandish, but it certainly was an adjustment in many ways. The point is that being back home made the differences stand out in bold relief.

Surprisingly, living here again is also a bit of an adjustment, but in a more subtle and pervasive way. The best way I can describe this is by borrowing a saying from a good friend - like being haunted by ghosts of your past. This is how I remember places, by the people who were with me as we roamed the city and made our marks. They made their marks on me too, and everywhere I go I feel like I'm walking a fine line between then and now. Memories flashing by around every corner and in every 'old haunt.'

It's actually nice in a way..as another friend put it, the place is full of good karma and good vibes from before. (So you know, these are happy ghosts like Casper, not the creepy clanking chains variety ;-) The downside is that I miss them all and if you know me, you know that I hate to miss people. I'd rather just be with them of course, who wouldn't? (Brilliant/mad scientists out there, the teleportation device is long overdue, ahem) But then, there are new friends and new memories to make, and even though it's going to be very different, it's still going to be very good. I just have to be patient. I'm already blessed with great friends from before and prospects of new ones..it'll just take time :)

And I'd be leaving out a lot if I didn't say that I got to catch up with some very good friends here..they make it feel more like home.

Ok and to Thanksgiving this year. My family had two. One with some other folks at a potluck on Thursday, and another with just the four of us on Friday. You'd think I'd be rolling myself everywhere, but actually (thankfully) the food was quite healthy and varied..Mom and I cooked up a storm as usual while the men did their part to stay out of the way (ha).

At the potluck, there were the adults sitting around chatting as usual, and then the children..I was by far the oldest at 25, the next in line was only 18. The youngest was an adorable and very precocious 5 year old. Yeah, I felt a little old (and glad that I'm long done with the SATs and SAT IIs and college admissions, etc!) , but not so old when, still considered one of the children, I got first dibs at the spread** ;-) The best of both worlds.

The job is going well, I really love what the Center does and I stand behind our work 100%..I am so happy I get to work on causes that are really close to my heart, and am learning a lot. So all in all, life is good. And I want to give back and make it so for others. And wow I just read through what I wrote, this entire long post. This is what happens when I don't post for a long time and a lot has been happening. I am SUCH a girl, there's no getting around that, is there :)


*Though sometimes, I think I wouldn't mind a little dose of flashy, uncomfortable, over-the-top and yet totally fabulous works of art on my feet. It's all about variety! I think I need a return trip or few to Balto/DC sometime soon...:D

**Grammar check for that sentence, please, someone. I'm not sure it's completely right..


Current soundtrack (because I don't have enough bandwidth to be posting playlists or youtube videos :( - Al Green, music from Salaam Namaste, Diana Krall, Sade, Saint-Saens and Gershwin (two old flames), and Sarah Brightman (The Songs That Got Away..I don't care what critics will say about her voice, before she picked up her trademark breathiness and affectations, she made some beautiful recordings with her natural voice and it is stunning. Wish she always sang like that).

And btw I say no to Lady Gaga. Just...no. For the time being, anyway :)

Remember old livejournal/xanga blogs where you had the option of broadcasting your current mood by way of smiley-face pictures?  I just remembered those and have to say my current mood is somewhere between playful and contemplative, or a strange amalgamation of the two, so I hope you'll read this with a similar state of mind.  Or at least understand that I'm not as nutty as I seem (ha..ha).  :)


I was at the grocery store, picking up a few things for dinner, and had a brief and very pleasant conversation with a woman who was also examining some Swiss chocolates.  As it turned out, she happened to be from Switzerland and still maintains her citizenship.  I thought it would be nice to offer a greeting in French, and my accent must have been passable, because her face lit up, and I had to explain that I only know very basic French.  Nevertheless, she was very gracious and taught me some food-related French phrases, and upon parting, wished me a wonderful life in that lovely and elusive tongue.  Our final goodbyes were said in Italian.  (Oh, but to possess her savoir faire in addition to her facility with the languages :)

It's oddly exhilarating to be just on the brink of understanding..when she was explaining her friend's chocolate flavor preferences, the meaning behind the fluid French words slipped in and out of grasp, much like water flows between your hands.  There for an instant and gone in the next.  I know that's a frustrating aspect of learning new languages - the goal after all, is to be able to understand and carry on your part of the conversation, the words springing readily from thoughts to speech.  Right on your tongue when you need them.  Currently I am in no position to be conversing in French, but that feeling of just being able to comprehend - that is what excites me.  The anticipation is akin to the fleeting moments before something glorious, like a great work of art, is unveiled. 

Not too long ago I ended up sitting next to a Japanese woman on the train.  Somehow we had a conversation in Japanese, talking about her vacation to America with her son and granddaughter, the New Jersey leg of her journey, where she stayed with relatives, and the upcoming tour of DC.  Again, she was incredibly gracious and patient as I found the right words to speak with her. I was very thankful for my Japanese professors in college who drilled the correct constructions and honorifics into us :)

I think I'm drawn to the melodies and rhythms of languages.  French, Italian, Arabic - the common denominator I hear is the softness-the gentle ebb and flow of the phrasing, speech like strands of silk flowing in the wind, water babbling through a brook.  They evoke romance and sensuality, and are utterly enticing to me.  Those who know me know that I can be flighty when it comes to settling on languages to learn, and my fancies must seem like caprices at best.  Sometimes I have a burning desire to learn Hindi (Bollywood, duh) and the Devaganari script (incredibly lovely and almost made sense when Denise and Nisha explained it :), other times I decide the Cyrillic alphabet is my new lover and so I devote a few weeks here and there to studying my Russian book.  It's honestly just because I love how they all sound (and look) so I have a hard time deciding. 

Thanks to a mentor though, and a lot of thought/experimentation, I've decided to commit to the three first mentioned above (Fr, It, Ar), as new languages to study.  With the hopes that I'll be able to hold my own part in conversing and making connections bound by the love for the language and culture.  And now I'll stop with the comparisons to relationships, haha!  (It was too easy, couldn't resist :)